When I first wrote this entry, I was in a very difficult place with some parents, and, like everything in life, there are always a few who spoil it for the majority. Let me start off by saying that we have some amazing parents at the school!

To be honest this section became a bit whiny and that was not my intention. I’m here to point you in the right direction and after this was pointed out to me, I have written it in a more helpful way. I am not trying to teach you to suck eggs here, I’m sure you are a pretty fantastic parent but there are rules in the industry with kids. You are putting them into an adult environment when they are employed so be prepared for what is expected. I have taught at other drama schools and colleges over the years and obviously attended a ridiculous amount of auditions so I feel pretty confident about what I am about to tell you!

A huge difference! I have seen both ends of the spectrum in parents over the years. Some who literally I don’t see from year to year as they just drop their child off, pay their bill and turn up for the odd show. Some parents constantly ring, text, email or nab you in between lessons to ask how their child is getting on, asking why they aren’t working on TV yet, why didn’t they get the main part in the show, what more they can do to push them forward etc, and to be quite frank, it’s a bit much!!!

Just STOP! And calm down! When I was growing up, I lived in the Channel Islands and all we had were amateur dramatic societies to do outside our training and we were HAPPY! I know that in the UK there is great scope to work in TV, film and theatre and of course it would be fantastic if that happened for all kids everywhere who really wanted it but, to be honest, it’s not realistic. Parents have a terrible habit of winding other parents up about this! Swapping drama schools incessantly will not progress your child any further. If anything, it just raises concerns to your new tutor. The question they ask themselves is “Am I taking on a nightmare parent here?”.

Don’t be too pushy with your child. If they self motivate in learning lines, dances and practice songs, then gentle praise and encouragement is great. As I’ve mentioned before when a show is approaching you should be actively involved in working opposite them and testing them with their lines. This is no different to competitions or other examinations. Forcing a child to come in and practice repeatedly until they are perfect is out of the question. Short bursts of practice are all that is needed to have a healthy balance of commitment and polish. 

A tutor always knows who has put in the extra effort in and who hasn’t so don’t be known as a task master. Shows always push me to my absolute limit, as I get so frustrated with the way I was brought up and how much things have changed. My sisters and I would always be “off page” (learnt our lines) before the first rehearsal. How on earth can a director get the show on its feet when actors are carrying around a script? Yes of course it should be to hand to write down stage directions, entrances and exits and pauses in text but generally the rehearsal area is a playground and the more you can play with your role the more refined it will be by opening night.

For the tutor it’s not just a matter of putting on a little play, it’s their name and reputation that precedes it and they will want the highest standards. I have stayed up till 3am sometimes worrying about every little detail and writing down lists of things that may be forgotten so the investment from that side of things is almost “breakdown” territory.

I have spoken extensively with my sister, Lisa, about this and we’ve both come to the same conclusion. It starts with the parents! If you apply a level of professionalism to whatever your child does they will follow suit and reflect your attitude. If you buckle and let your child dictate, or your lifestyle comes first, then in my eyes you are teaching them to be lazy. I don’t do lazy on any level so it irks me when it happens to me and it’s out of my control. After having completed one of my biggest shows to date, it was the one where I nearly jacked in the school and walked away. A friend of mine told me that when she was growing up her dance teacher stopped doing them altogether as the stress became all too much and I totally agree with her. The problem is, that’s sad for the ones who do want to perform in them, as they need as much experience as they can get. I also don’t do gutless. Sending emails and texts because you can’t handle a phone call to say why your child will not be turning up for rehearsals is poor. We have now vowed to change the way we do shows forever. 

Teachers can’t work miracles! We’d love to but we can’t! Please don’t be asking your tutor after two weeks if your child is more confident yet. One parent once rang me to say that their child’s form tutor hadn’t noticed a change yet. I couldn’t believe it. I’d only taught them twice! Baby steps into growth of performance and confidence is all we can offer but once it sparks off you’ll be wishing that they would calm down.

You can do so much at home to assist this. 

From the moment my children were born, I was really animated in everything. Expression, physicality and story telling were high on my agenda and they learnt to read my face and emotions from tiny. I am also quite strong on throwing my voice around, and when I say this I mean putting on silly voices and accents. To be an actor, you must be a clown and if you can laugh at yourself you’re half way there. The fact is, we work so hard in drama at being silly and breaking down barriers that if a child goes home and they are told that they are annoying or stupid then it takes twice as long for the tutor to bring that child back to the forefront. 

In my family we have “stand out” chats around the dinner table. We all come up with different scenarios as to situations where we might stand out and it could be as simple as forgetting to wear what you want at school on non-uniform days to getting a question wrong in class in front of everyone. This is just a simple technique that gets into the psychology of the brain and allows your child not to worry or panic in times where they may be different. We just simply say “It’s not the end of the world! I tried…” or whatever the situation might be. My son still proudly hugs and kisses me at 19 years old in front of his friends because he simply doesn’t care what they think. I must have embarrassed him so many times that he just becomes immune to my eccentricity. This is the kind of stuff that instills confidence and you have the tools to do it. Have more debates, let your child have an opinion regardless of its authenticity and be prepared for feedback yourself! 

Another small confidence building block is to make your children ask for things themselves. The bill at a restaurant, ordering their own food, inquiring as to how something works. Let them be their own boss in important things but make sure they don’t let arrogance become them. This would not work on set with a director! They could be sacked. The thing is, if they can’t talk to adults, peers and employers (directors, producers etc) they are unlikely to be cast. Directors need to be able to communicate fluently with a child and convey their wishes without it going through an interpreter all the time. 

I would also be really wary of comparing children with others. They all have talents in different fields and not one child at my school is like any other. They are unique in every way and it’s my/our job to bring out their personal best. The nature of the industry means that there is always somebody more talented, more beautiful and more successful than you are but to compare yourself is leading down a very destructive road. Better to be a master of one than a jack-of-all-trades?! Yes!

I would never beg a parent to keep their child with me at my school, you ultimately do what you want, but what I can say is that I am fair and will do the very best I can. Children in bigger agencies can get lost among the other children and agents do have their favorites in my experience. Just weigh up which is better for you. If you’re not happy after a year then try the other option but again check first how happy your child is – don’t let your huge ambitions cloud what your child actually wants. 

Try to be gracious about your drama teacher’s time. For example when a group of children are in a show at one time or another, it is expected that their teacher will go. This cannot always be the case! When you run an agency as well, America wakes up when we all are on the wind down so my agency can sometimes run until midnight. Please spare a thought before you start the moaning marathon. And don’t ever use the excuse that “the children were ever so disappointed” as this just switches teachers off! You make the children disappointed by mentioning it time and time again. 

A lot of parents attend shows with high expectations of it being like a West End show so can often be disappointed when they don’t see all the glitz and glamour but for me every show isn’t about that. For me, it’s about moving a child further along their path of development, confidence and performance and to the parents who slyly gather in the corners picking at every piece I pity you for not seeing the bigger picture! The worse thing is, they also tell their children or discuss in open forums their disappointments in front of their children which, by the way, knocks anything good out of their memories and ultimately makes them not want to perform again. All children truly want is to be praised and accepted by the people they love, so why would anyone ever want to damage that. I have never done that to my children as I wouldn’t be that cruel.

On a more uplifting note, if it wasn’t for some wonderful parents who I’ve met and volunteered for me, I wouldn’t be able to run my school the way I want to. They spend all day Saturdays outside the class making an amazing atmosphere for students to walk in to. The little café, uniform shop and admin all exist because of parents so my faith is constantly restored in how much people really care about their child and being actively involved in their development.