This is the most professional and disciplined you will ever have to be, as time is money. It costs an incredible amount of money to produce anything that involves entertainment so you must show the ultimate respect.

From the second that you are confirmed for a job, you need to be totally switched on and deal with all contracts, letters and phone calls in the time allocated. Departments such as casting, wardrobe and production may need to call you at any time of the night and day. Due to their heavy schedules it might not always be when it’s convenient for you. Go with the flow on this.

In theatre there will be a set rehearsal schedule, which must be adhered to but can change at a moment’s notice so flexibility is key. A registered approved chaperone will always be assigned to your child if you can’t do this yourself, and they will spend the set period with them, including shows and any publicity that is needed. It is your responsibility to make sure your child knows their lines, songs and any dance routines they have been taught from rehearsal to rehearsal. They can’t keep re-teaching the same thing over and over again so practice is vital. Make sure your child is always dressed appropriately with dance or jazz shoes along with clothes layering. Rehearsal rooms vary from being very cold to quite warm so the ability to remove and add clothes is a good idea. Always take a bottle of water with you (no fizzy or milk drinks) and a healthy snack, as high sugar snacks or starchy carbohydrates can drain a child and make them tired. 

Whether you are in television or theatre, your child must take something to do in between their scenes, as the days are long and sometimes uneventful. Limit electronics as this takes the focus away from work and encourage book reading, word searches, crosswords and listening to music. It may sound old fashioned but the brain can function for much longer when it has switched from activities that encourage thought rather than the mindless monotony of games.

A child and their chaperone (grandparents have to be registered to do this properly too) will be either allocated a dressing room or caravan on set where they can relax, get changed, practice and be quiet away from the set or stage. Don’t be demanding where your motor home is as sometimes you don’t get given anything at all. Especially on smaller budget projects. Heck, sometimes you have to get changed in the back of car so don’t be too precious!

Make up, Hair and Wardrobe will usually call you in via a runner or assistant so when you get into their domain, be guided by what they need to do. They will have been given a specific brief on how they have to look so don’t start trying to add more make up or tell them how your child’s hair looks best. They are professionals and are employed by the film or theatre company.

Teenage actors tend to want to look more glamorous, so keep an eye on it.

 I personally don’t think that parents should chaperone their own children, as there can be needy, indulgent issues that can come to light. I will indulge in this more further down this diary. It is far more effective for a professional chaperone to take your child on set and be their mentor as they know the ropes and can guide them clearly through each step. 

The “runner” - the person who generally runs around doing anything for anybody - is NOT your personal assistant even though they will kindly offer to do anything for you. They are usually there first and finish last so be kind and sympathetic to everything they have to do. Don’t nag them as to when your child is going to be going on set, or moan about the fact you have to get back early or anything else that you can think of because you’re bored. You are both being paid to sit there and wait and days can go by where you are required to be present but not needed. That’s why you need to take things to keep you occupied.

Never take your mobile phone on set with you EVER! You don’t need to speak to anyone that urgently that it needs to be on your person. If you are unfortunately working in a more challenging environment and you are worried about your personal property then take a rucksack with you and turn your phone off in your bag. The only people allowed wit their mobile phones, are the crew.

When your child is away, diet is a huge factor in how they behave and conduct themselves generally. If you are with your child then burgers, pizzas and other fatty foods are not an ideal source of energy and they are frowned upon by a lot of professional chaperones. Allow the child to choose healthier options that will control their diet in a balanced way but also allow good sleep and concentration. An odd treat on their day off is fine but to be choosing just fast food for ease is irresponsible. The catering companies on films are incredible and they really bend over backwards to give children what they like, so go and build a good relationship with them and look at the day’s menu ahead. They almost always have a salad bar available and a variety of hot food along with delicious puddings and fruit so the temptation can be killed. If your child speaks to them nicely and asks for a slight variation one day, I can guarantee they will get to know their tastes and be able to do something extra special for them. On a more personal level, my daughter just adapts to whatever is on offer and creates her own little buffet so she doesn’t make them have to do any extra work for her. The food is free on set for television and film but take heed, in radio, you usually have to buy your own. Sometimes in theatre the chaperone may be given a budget to buy your child’s food but always ask and it may be that you have to provide a pack up every now and then. I always insist that my daughter takes a dressing gown with her to set so that when she is eating lunch she can remove her costume and eat in comfort. Children shouldn’t be eating in their costume and it shows a great amount of respect to the costume department if you have considered their work to be important in this way. 

When the day is over, depending on the child’s age, have a good early dinner and set a reasonable time for bed. If they are going to be waking up at 6 am for an early call then it will affect what time they go to bed but there are times when they may have the morning off so a bit of give and take with bedtime is fair. Just make sure that you don’t lie in too late and miss the hotel breakfast as they won’t provide that when you go on set late morning. 

Obviously I don’t have to tell you that drinking alcohol when you’re in charge of a child working is totally forbidden! This is a job, even if you’re the parent and you do it at home. When they are working, alcohol is off limits! As is smoking! Keep it away from the child.

Make sure your child is nice to everyone. I know that sounds like a stupid statement but just one wrong look or bad response can damage a child’s reputation in the snap of a finger. I’ve seen it happen AND I’ve seen parents damage their own child’s career by generally being a pain in the behind. Every single person involved in that production is valuable and as far as I’m concerned there is no ranking system and importance of human beings. Create a happy environment and learn to assess situations as you go into them. Sets can be stressful at times and if the director is unhappy, this is when you need to remain quiet and do exactly what you’re told. 

They have so many bosses higher up than them and they can be put under huge amounts of pressure that you have no idea about so be kind.

On the other hand, the set is a wonderful environment and so exciting to be present on. It’s incredible to see how everything comes together and how all the crew create the magic.

Always make sure you keep your child in sight and know where they are but also be invisible so that you blend into the background. An over zealous chaperone hinders production so be practical. Let the child breathe and be with their cast so they can produce their best performance. As a cast they need to bond so if you’re pulling them back all the time they are going to get a bit frustrated with you.

This is where it can get tricky! There are times, like it or lump it, that your child will get shouted out and you may think that they are upset. I very rarely see a director behave so callously BUT I have seen it happen and unless they are downright awful and personal towards them, keep your mouth shut. Time constraints mean they have to be pretty damn perfect so it’s quite possible they were talking when they shouldn’t have or were distracted when they needed to be focused so let them learn the hard way. I can’t stand molly-coddling parents who run around their children over every little thing. The only time that either myself or my mother (who was a professional chaperone) gets involved is if they have been left far too long in freezing conditions without warmth being provided in between takes, they need water or they don’t understand what the director is trying to tell them. You may just need to explain it to them in words that they will get. Other than that, we keep out.

The law dictates very strict rules for ages and children’s time working so you should keep a strict record of breaks, time on set and time they go on and off set. The only time I let this bend is if they need an extra 15 minutes at the end of the day and they need the light or time to finish a scene. Judge it yourself. My daughter would work eighteen hours and plus if I let her so it's more a matter of me or the chaperone calling time on her!

Chaperones can have just as much fun as the child and, let’s face it, making movies or plays is practically the best job in the world. A happy chaperone makes a happy child so enjoy yourself too. My mum always made me laugh because in her later years, everyone gravitated towards her for knowledge and comfort and the odd moan. She was a real mother hen and was often hailed as one of the best chaperones a company had ever worked with. If she could, she would usually make everyone a cuppa too and bring in the odd banana bread she’d baked to keep up morale!

I love that! Everyone should look back on the experience and have amazing memories, so create some of your own. 

On the flip side to that though, don’t get too over familiar with anyone. This particularly applies to well known actors who quite rightly view their role as a job and because they move in and out of several different sets and companies, it is just another job. For children, it's much more exciting than that!

So here are the rules on set with other adult actors. Never ask for an autograph! Unprofessional! If your child would like that actors autograph, quietly have a word with the runner, and they will try and sort it out for you. A lovely actor will usually come and find you and then offer to have a photo with your child, but DON’T ask yourself. It just tarnishes a reputation and makes you come across as a bit of an anorak. That’s harsh, I know, but I’m trying to help you.

Never talk to stars other than the odd hello, unless they initiate it. When my daughter worked with Jude Law and Rachel Weisz I kept out of their way and they ended up speaking to me when they had time. Both absolutely delightful, grounded actors but they were busy and probably because I was in the industry they didn’t feel so exposed to worry about some mad pushy mum wanting to be around them. Know your place. 

Some actors, though, love speaking to anyone on set so let it happen. All I’m saying is be aware that it may or may not happen so just adapt and don’t get offended either way.

Some scenes can take all day to film and crews have to turn cameras and equipment around all the time. Sound technicians have to get everyone’s levels perfect, along with lighting too. It’s a big operation and again takes patience. Keep your child occupied and get them to find somewhere comfortable to sit down and wait. Don’t let them go off and play football or get hot and sweaty so that make up and hair have to do re-do their work, just find something quiet to do or make sure they’ve taken a book on set with them so they can read that in between.

When a child is asked to do an emotional scene on set this requires extra sensitivity from everyone. I have taught my daughter to produce her own tears, as this is indicative to getting her performance right. However, when they have to repeat this maybe eight or nine times then sometimes extra help may be required in the help of a tear stick which make-up will usually have with them. Sydney totally hates this option as she feels that it’s a cop-out method, probably brainwashed by myself, but honestly it is OK if needed. All it does is stimulate the tear duct to produce water like tears. If you are a chaperone, I would check with the parent before that scene is to be filmed that if needed they are OK with that. 

It also may be that a child needs just a few minutes to build up into that emotion so maybe explain this to the first AD (assistant director) ahead of time so they can allocate a couple of minutes before to prepare your child. They will clear this with the director. 

I have a very relaxed approach to TV and film companies as having lived in Portugal, everything is done "tomorrow"! Moaning about the fact that you haven't heard anything regarding scheduling or times etc is pointless. They will be ready when they're ready and you don't really want to be upsetting them by nagging on every week. If you have your contract dates, then stick to those and chill out. A lot of times in TV you don't find out what the next week's schedule is like until the weekend before or sometimes even the night before. The runner will give you a call time (this is when you will be picked up or need to be at studio) and then you need to be bang on time. When you get to either studio or location they will probably call you into make-up or wardrobe so always have clean hair and have had your shower. This might seem ridiculous to tell you about but actors at times have to share costumes depending on the role or job and hygiene is imperative. Make sure you have done everything that is needed before you start hunting down the food or tea and check which scene is currently being filmed so you can either be ready to rock or know you have time on side. You have to take total responsibility for what is happening, as people are not going to spoon feed you. They expect you to know and don't have time to start teaching you the ropes.

One thing that companies will always do is protect that child. They have a duty to protect child actors and I can honestly say that neither I nor my mum have ever come across a company who isn’t on board with the well being of their artists. 

This is where difficult and gritty scripts come into play and where my tolerance with parents is stretched to the limit. Life is not a fairytale and drama mostly reflects life as it is today. That means there is going to be some tough, violent, bloody and raw scripts produced. This may involve swearing, beating and sexual scenes that you may not approve of so again don’t steer your child towards TV and film. If you want a more squashy, cotton wrapped career then stick to theatre and musicals. Although I have seen some incredible plays where children have been involved and they were nail bitingly wonderful. 

Life is language and vice versa. People swear. Children swear. Actors mirror life. If you don’t want your child exposed to anything that doesn’t fit your bubble then walk away. I’m not attacking you, you may just want your child to grow up safely and unexposed to the realities of the world for as long as possible, so I suggest you let them just attend their classes and keep away from professional work.

BUT if you commit yourself and your child to the industry then pop your seatbelt on and be prepared. Sydney has been dragged by her hair kicking and screaming, watched bodies being tortured, been enclosed in small spaces and all kinds of things, and she can’t get enough of it!

The grittier the script the more we’re both drawn to it. 

I think we’re quite lucky in the North of England that our writers produce such wonderful raw dramas. We have some tough areas, as does the inner city London dramas and I am always totally surprised with how accurate they are. Having worked as a police constable previously for ten years, I am overwhelmed by how beautifully truthful they make these programmes. 

Another important issue is accommodation and where you both may be staying overnight or on long-term projects. Please, please, please NEVER complain that your bedroom is not up to standard unless it truly isn’t. I mean like incredibly dirty or infested with something as you have to keep the situation real! You will stay in some amazing hotels, bed and breakfasts and lower rate hotels and they will all differ depending on location, what’s available at the time and budget. Behaving like a diva and saying that your room isn’t good enough will just push you right up to the “difficult” list and cause a reputation that you didn’t want. When you’re in the leagues of Angelina Jolie and Leonardo Di Caprio then yes, maybe, IF there’s a problem, you may be able to stamp your feet a little (although I still don’t agree with that and I’ve never heard of them doing that) and get upgraded but no way on a small drama! And no way when you literally are not even established as an artist.

Do a check list: Are you warm, is the bedroom clean and can you get a decent shower? If so, criteria met! End of!

So, parents should not chaperone their own children for several reasons BUT if it is absolutely necessary due to exceptional circumstances, then parents should have to go through the same process as a registered chaperone and undergo the same training. Having spent time over the years with chaperones that work professionally in full time work, they have a very practical no-nonsense approach to the whole business and a good chaperone is like a fairy godmother. They will liaise with the parents, the company and the child and always be guided by their own common sense. 

One of my pet hates is the fact that at university level when students are training in the film industry, tutors never touch on children working in performance, licensing, working hours and guidelines to adhere to. Therefore clashes with chaperones are inevitable.

A parent chaperoning is a huge responsibility as there is an emotional connection to that child and this can lead to over-sensitivity of the parent OR the child feeling an over-whelming responsibility to keep their parents in work. You may frown at this but when Sydney was younger I worked on a job with her (my mother wasn’t registered then) and another parent on that job was pretty much working her child solid as it gave her a full time wage. The child worked mainly in modelling but it was pretty excessive the stuff I was listening to. You have to understand that this child was not in school yet but was working pretty regularly every week. The mother tried to skate over the situation by stating that they were in high demand but the make-up person and I pretty much sat there with our mouths wide open.

I felt guilty and I hadn’t even done anything. My inexperience didn’t know how to handle that situation. Would I do something now about it? Yes, I probably would.

Some children are also very caring towards their parents especially if they have medical needs and I’m always shocked when a company insists the child to have a medical but not the chaperone. Parents who have a history of ailments and even depression are often affected by the challenges that working in the industry imposes and this can make a child at work worry about that parent subconsciously and also when they return to their hotel room. I’ve seen this happen so it’s not an assumption on my part.

Parents who chaperone should also have to go through the same DBS checks as everyone else. After all, they are around other children. Surely it should be cleared that you are allowed to be in such close proximity with other children. Do I need to highlight the troubles in the press over the years??

I suppose I’m just a believer in a good work ethos all round. Children will have enormous fun if all the groundwork is put in place and the red tape dealt with. They don’t need to know the whys and wherefores, just that it is all sorted.

At 13 years old, a child will be allowed their own room in a hotel away from their chaperone due to obvious reasons. The child is changing in all sorts of capacities. Of course this worries me! I should think a child at that age too may find the process quite lonely. The chaperone needs to put provisions in place to deal with that and again this will have been taught to them through training.

It is absolutely imperative that a child is not allowed to leave that room and wander around the hotel on their own without a chaperone escorting them. It's just not allowed! Ever! If a child wants to go somewhere or needs something they should be contacting the chaperone by telephone to assist their request. A parent should reiterate this with their child and be strict in its execution should a professional chaperone be employed.

A chaperone could lose their license if this is not followed.

My other concern with children working is that they only need a chaperone up to the age of 16 years. I’m not totally convinced this is the right age. I think 17 is a little more practical. Here is where you now think that I’m wrapping the cotton wool around children but in all honesty it is still very young to be thrown out there with all the temptations and peer pressure that could follow. For instance, a 16-year-old child may be working with adult actors who like to go and a have a drink on a night or stay in the hotel bar. Nothing wrong with that. Would that 16-year-old also want a drink? Possibly. Would they be disciplined enough to know when enough would be enough and retire to bed? Possibly. Every child is different but what about the time when they’ve had a bad day on set, when they’re dealing with their own personal issues and may be more vulnerable. What then? 

I don’t think when a child is 17 that a chaperone should be on set all day as that’s a little over the top but maybe a mentor when they get back to sit and chat or discuss any issues with. The change from a child actor to an adult actor is worlds apart and they are thrust into the world of self-employment, tax and self discipline and anyone who has a teenager at home would pretty much agree that they’re not always on it!

On long running series, child actors can spend a little too much time together and this can upset the apple cart when filming. Children are children at the end of the day whatever they do and not everyone gets on. Most of the time they will sort things out on their own but if a child becomes a little withdrawn or not their usual self, you need to be able to watch for the signs and try to resolve it as quickly as possible. I’ve always taught Sydney that she will not be liked by everyone and she may not like everyone either but this is life and it doesn’t stop whatever age you reach. The key thing is to be professional and do the job you’ve been employed to do. This is what builds the layers of a thick skin. You hear artists going on about it all the time but in truth they are right. You have to be one tough cookie to survive this game.